Sterryality's Blog

So.. Jayden can now stand on a little step stool and brush his teeth and was his hands in the sink.. AHHH where is the time going… SLOW DOWN!!!!

Ok, So first off let me start off by saying that I THANK GOD every single day to be able to be at home with Jayden. I know that there are some many other mothers/fathers that would love to be able to be at home with their children. I am truly blessed in the fact that I am able to stay home.. Now with that being said…. Being at home is WAY different then I could ever have imagined it to be…

I never pictured myself as the type of person that would want to be at home once I had a child. I also had the idea that I would go back to work as soon as I was ready to go. I have always worked outside of the home and for the most part I have enjoyed working… Now fast forward… I am coming up on the TWO year anniversary of being layed off from the University of Phoenix. Which I was devastated by but as been a blessing in disguise.. I am now a SAHM..

While people may think that staying at home 24/7 with a new baby and now a toddler is the greatest thing ever.. THey are wrong and right. I cherish every moment that I have with Jayden but that also does not mean that I do not struggle as well. There are days when I just want to sleep in past 8. (I know I am lucky he sleeps in that late some days) It is more of the fact that before you have children you get to lay, relax in bed before having to jump up into mommy duty.. Also, it seems as if I have lost contact with so many people either because they don’t have kids or because they are not on my “mommy” schedule. It’s hard to have friends that work full-time because I am at home all day with Jayden and they are at work… So schedules conflict and I don’t get to see as many people as I would like. It’s a part of life right? Well I know it is a part of life but I am the type of person that likes to have people around. Sitting at home can get me into a depression, even when I have a beautiful and ever so energetic child to keep me busy. You start to miss the adult conversation and talking about other things then just poopy diapers and what brand of formula your child drinks..

I miss my “girl” time, my adult time and I miss my husband. It is such an adjustment to having to go from playing mommy to playing wife.. Something that is a BIG struggle for me. I constantly have Jayden on my mind.. No matter if he is playing, sleeping, eating or just watching tv. He always comes first and I feel as I neglect not only myself but Steven as well. WHICH SUCKS!!! Never did I think being a full-time SAHM would be so difficult. Again it is amazing and wonderful as well but I have to admit to myself that it’s a struggle.. Admitting that I struggle with it can only help me become better..

So now is the big thing.. Do I go back to work? Do I want to go back to work? Well I don’t really want to have someone else raise my child. I had a rough childhood and I want to be there with Jayden and be there for him for as long as I can… There are set backs to being a SAHM and the financial aspect is a big one.. Steven makes good money and THANK GOD I was given the chance to work at home part-time for the same people Steven works for.. It scares me to think of what may happen if that position was no longer available. Where we would be financially.. Losing a Full time Income and gaining a child is a bit overwhelming. What I would do if I had to leave Jayden for 8 hours a day.. EEKS. Scary…. So anyway.. There are many struggles to being a SAHM and I believe that it takes a strong person to accomplish this “JOB”… Because it is a job…

Ok.. enough rambling…. I love that I am with Jayden and I wouldn’t trade it for the world… I just also know that I struggle and admiting the struggles helps me to overcome them.. If you are reading this thanks for listening my rambled and jumbled thoughts!!!

GOD BLESS!

Jayden’s favorite Iphone game and now Kinect game.. GO JAYDEN!!

p.s. Look at his cute little shadow on the TV

I needed to put some pics up of our little man over the past couple of months for those who don’t have facebook!! Here you go Mom and Dad O!!